Moms Ask: Should I Work at Home or Outside?



Should I Work at Home or Outside?

dearmama360 mom's ask series

Before you finish reading this article, you will realize that the answer to this question is that, only you – the unique mom with a unique circumstance can answer the question.
Meaning… there is no ‘one – size – fits –all’ approach to the subject.
What matters though, is that your decision is borne out of love for your husband and children, and that it leaves you with minimal guilt and a happy family.
But here are a few twists to the issue that a mom may like to consider, still there is no assurance that these won’t leave her feeling more confused:
  1. Mother/Child Bonding: Research works have shown that the first 5 years of a child are the most crucial, impressionable and formative years of a child, when their need for their moms, are at its peak. It is also an exciting time for a parent to observe firsthand how their baby goes through developmental milestones from crawling, first tooth, first words, first steps and giving out those angelic beautiful toothless smiles. Many mothers who opt to work at home, do so because they want to soak up on the love of raising a child and be there to nurture their kids themselves.


  2. Economic Pressure: In the past, when bills were fewer and needs were easily met, there was little or no need for moms to work outside their homes since the families’ need for food and clothing, were easily met by their husbands. In those days, most husbands were landowners on which their little homes were built and the wives were the unpaid informal teachers, who taught using songs, tales at moonlights and didactic stories. dearmamaWomen were the 5 star chefs at their homes, no eating out in expensive restaurants. But these are changing times, when many families have rents to pay, school fees to settle, foodstuffs to buy, medical bills to pay and the list goes on.
    On the other side, that is not to say that working outside the home is beneficial in all cases. Some moms who do not work outside the home are actually not that far behind, what, with the paltry crumbs paid these days as salary.
    When some mothers who work outside the home, deduct cost of transport, payment for nannies, cost of buying office wears, the daily stress and emotional toil of being up early and going to bed late, exhausted and feeling hurried.calm working mother
    The question that remains then is: What then is left? Is it worth it? Should I sacrifice the little financial gain I may gain in favor of spending cherished time in and around my home?
  3. Psychological Implications: The beauty of moms waking up sluggishly in the mornings, having time to play with and sing to their kids while still in their pajamas, slowly taking their time to bath, feed and rock their kids to sleep while still carrying out certain chores at home, is simply one of life’s few pleasures. Every kid responds beautifully to having the mom within arm’s length and stay at home moms tend to be more relaxed, more in control, better rested.
    So psychologically, this might appear to be ideal for all, at least moms won’t have to leave the house feeling guilty as their kids try to cling to their legs to make them stay back or the voices of the kids as they cry calling for their moms who is at the door leaving for work.
    The flip side to this though, is that moms who work at/from home and who are always with their kids tend to have very clingy babies, who over time become overly and highly dependent on their mothers and become socially awkward when brought in contact with other kids.
    Moms are also, in some cases, negatively affected when they are stay – at – homes. They become bored and frustrated with having to do the same thing, time and time again, and yet it never gets entirely done. So they may feel unfulfilled, retrograde and insecure or as if of a lesser value in comparison to moms who work outside the home and who are able to afford more women things. More so, some husbands tend to look down on their wives because they are contributing to the family’s income or because staying at home has made their women go ‘rusty’ when it comes to other issues besides diapers, recipes, and the likes. Some feel ashamed that their wife cannot discuss local and international politics, football, financial analysis, science and other hi – tech subjects. In this case, a stay-at-home mom can continue upgrading her personality by reading widely and self development. She can plan to attend conferences in her region, undertake short, less intensive courses from time to time. In this way, she remains relevant while caring for her dear family. Meanwhile, she may decide to ‘roost in the nest’ with her babies for only a stipulated number of years after which she resumes work secularly, especially if she has age on her side. Sure, there is room for ‘career break for women of child – bearing age’.
    In brief, what this article has done is highlight the many sides to the question mentioned earlier, every coin has two major sides to it, no wonder,  Popsugar in her article ‘Circle of Moms” said that the question to work at home or outside the home is left to the mom, what works for people differ. So find out what works for you and be happy doing it. There is no perfectionism in parenting and while kids benefit from spending quality time with their parents, there may not be need to lavish large amount of time and energy on them.
    Having gone through this article, what is your answer: Should a mom work at home or outside the home?
    Article written by Amara Udoji, an Educationist and a Great Writer.

    Photo credit: Pixabay

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